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Do Not Be Hostage To Your Negative Thoughts –
Creating A Healthy Mind
by Michele Germain, LCSW

Our mind contains a stead flow of thoughts, which are filled with experiences, memories, images, judgements, expectations and desires. This is the function of our mind. But, often the mind is in a chaotic state of negative and fear based thinking. Negative thinking can start as you immediately get out of bed. You may be waking up in frenzy, with fear based thoughts running at a speed greater than light; or you can wake with calm and peaceful thoughts

You can move through your day obsessing over a past event, or you can be focusing on something positive that is taking place in the moment. You may have negative thoughts as you stand in line at the grocery store, or at the gas station, the gym or when you interact with co-workers, friends or family members. Or you can project your negative thoughts onto others.

Do you know what you are thinking as you move through your day?

Most people do not know what is going on in their minds, or how often their thoughts are negative and fear based. It often takes someone pointing it out. The mind out of habit becomes conditioned and automatic in its negative reactions. So unless you stop and give attention to your thoughts you may not have a direct experience with what you are thinking, or even notice how negative or judgmental you have been during the day.

There are three common major negative themes that I find most people exhibit in their daily lives that sabotage their goals and personal happiness; see if you recognize any of this self defeating thinking.

Worrying – Distressing over many situations for a long period of time, in almost an obsessive manner.

Waiting for the Shoe to Drop – Looking at a situation and immediately taking it out of perspective and anticipating an extreme misfortune, and anticipating something going wrong..

Judgmental Thinking – Whatever you do it is not good enough, always finding a way to minimize what you have done in a judgmental tone.

I refer to this type of thinking as fretting. Fretting depletes your energy, waste time, and even though it feels like a coping skill, it creates more conflict and takes away your clarity. It is always fear based and creates mental and physical stress.

What you do not understand about yourself will control you. If you let you mind “run you around” you will never achieve your personal and professional goals. No one is withholding happiness, but your negative thinking can keep you from feeling and creating happiness. Here Is How You Can Begin To Heal Your Mind

Three Things You Can Start Doing Today

1. Notice you’re self-talk. And begin to see which of the 3 themes you tend to do. When you hear any negative thinking, tell your mind to stop. Shift your thinking by moving on to another activity or replace the negative thought with a positive one.

2. Give yourself a positive intention as you begin your morning. Visualize yourself successful and calm during your day. Do an affirmation such as: “I deserve continual happiness and success”, “I will accomplish everything I need to do”, “and I have the support I need”. “I am appreciated” etc. Don’t waste time thinking about the future or the past. Try to stay in the moment

3. Have a list or a board where you post your positive behavior and accomplishments. Make sure you list your daily achievements. This will shift the mind into positive thinking and create a different response as you interact throughout your day.

Take control of your mind before it takes control of you. It is a process, so be gentle with yourself as you begin to examine and change the direction of your thoughts. Don’t expect change to come rapidly, but acknowledge and praise yourself for your effort. Change your thoughts and you will become the master and not a hostage to your mind, then the positive will manifest in your life.

Michele Germain is the author of The Jill Principle – A Women’s Guide To Healing Her Spirit After Divorce Or Breakup, published by Llewellyn Worldwide. Phone counseling is available. She is licensed as a Clinical Social Worker and Marriage Family Therapist in California. She is a Certified Bioenergetic Analyst, specializing in the mind/body connection, an approach that resolves the emotional pain remaining in the body. She is a relationship expert, and helps individuals find the spiritual gift in their crisis or breakup. She has appeared on radio, cable television and in print media, and has lectured aboard major cruise ship lines such as the Royal Caribbean. For more information visit or or